I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize
