where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Porn is love you can see.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He's on the porch naked. Help.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize