just tell him i said nine months
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
