That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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