your thong is hanging out like whoa
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
True strength comes from lack of pants
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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