singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
