Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
