I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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