it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Help. Why am I so naked?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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