I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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