dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She even gives head with a lisp.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
