I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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