Please, let me fuck your mom
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
