how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
