I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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