mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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