Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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