He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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