Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
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Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
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I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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