u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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