so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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