He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
