In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
