woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
