I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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