windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Welp...herpes.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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