god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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