i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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