if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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