Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
