I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
