He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
