i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
