Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
