Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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