a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
