Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
