North Korea, Best Korea!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
