..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
