I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
