my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
