I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
