The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
