Don't make out with my wife yet
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
