The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
