Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
