Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
