The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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