Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
