Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
