I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize