TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
