I think my fart just growled at me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize