somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
