I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sext me about skeletons
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize