I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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