Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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