I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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